Can you tell I've been avoiding my blog? Let's just get this first part over with. I'm still ticked that Obama won. I have my reasons and I have no doubt many of you do as well. Okay, now we can move on.
Being in St. Joe. What can I say? Its...harder. No one likes change. The city is nice, the people are nice, our apartment is nice. It's just me who hasn't been fine. For the first time in my life I've felt like I have to adjust to a new place. Moving to college was pretty easy since I had roommates and I just drove home every weekend. Moving to Logan was easy because Joe and I had friends and family there. Moving to Iowa was fun because we met and made lot of new friends pretty quickly. This time around is different. I've made a few friends, but I still feel like the outsider here. For some reason I feel like I don't quite belong yet. I belonged in Utah and it would be easy to transition back. I belonged in Iowa too. When I went back to visit over Thanksgiving weekend we were welcomed over the pulpit, and I was even provided a gluten free cracker for the sacrament without ever asking for one. I was met with smiling faces and warm wishes that I genuinely and eagerly reciprocated. It felt like home being there. My trip was cut short when I found out I'd be flying to Utah for a funeral. Once again, while I was in Utah I felt at home. I was able to see some of my relatives that I haven't seen in years, and I was so grateful. I felt so blessed for the opportunity to celebrate the life of my dear cousin with my relatives, and be able to hug my family close and appreciate the deep love I have for them. I was able to briefly see my Whitehead family as well. It was so great to see them too. I've been really homesick for them. My sister-in-law drove all the way from Evanston just to have a 2 hour dinner with me. I'm so blessed. Occasionally the Lord shows me how much love and support I have in my life, and this was one of those times. Despite my selfishness and many other shortcomings, I have wonderful people who love me just the same. I just don't get to see them as often as I would like. Right now I'm back in St. Joe wishing I knew the future. Deep down I know I need to be patient. There are wonderful people here too. It will just take a little more time to develop the same deepness of friendship and service that I have with all those people I miss so much. I'm blessed to know that I'm in the right place here in St. Joe. I just need to get my heart there too.
8 comments:
Well, you won't find quite as cool of people there as you do here...but maybe close. :)
I can relate to your post. It gets harder when you don't have a "built-in family" situation like when you're in school and all in the same place in life. When we first moved to Maryland, we were in a ward where there were tons of young couples our age in school or just starting careers. We made a lot of instant friends.
Earlier this year most of our closest friends moved. We also moved - only 3 blocks away, but into a new neighborhood and new ward/stake with very different dynamics.
I tell myself the same things you are. Give it time. Things will get better. There are more friends waiting to be made. But it's hard.
Thank goodness for technology that lets us see family/friends and talk to them on the phone/computer. Without that I'd be in real trouble.
Hang in there!
I'm sorry things are hard. But I really appreciated this post. It's tough moving and starting over. I think the best thing for me to remember when we've moved is remember it takes time to make friends! It really does! And even though it probably didn't feel like it when you moved to Iowa it did take time to develop those close ties. It is so easy to forget that it did take time. I am sure you are doing better than you think. I'm sad we missed seeing you. We went home to Utah for Thanksgiving. Glad you got to come back and say hi though!
Oh Jess...this post makes me miss you. As if I don't miss you already every single day. I'm really glad you guys could come for Thanksgiving. I love our Iowa City family. Nothing will ever be quite the same. I just love you guys so much! Oh my gosh that was so sentimental! We are such sentimental friends! :)
I totally know how you feel. I miss our old home and I miss the states. Germany is great, but I am just having a hard time adjusting. This post hit home with me :)
So glad we were able to see you. I understand how you feel. I really think that for me it is the Lords way of making me grow. Love you!
I can relate as well. Moving is hard and lonely. Loved seeing you too!
Hey Jess, Glad you got a recent taste of homes.
I remember crying the first time I went to the park in Lehi and saw the mom groups sitting on their blankets chatting. I didn't have a group. I wanted to be back at Wymount.
Now I love Lehi.
But I am a sheltered Utah Countyian and don't even have a handle on how it must be in the outside world.
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