I'm a Liar

I've come to realize that my children make liars out of me. It seems as though everytime I share a fact or fun little story, my boys will immediately contradict me. I told my mom that Noah was propping himself up on his elbows, but when i tried to show her he just arched his back and grunted. I started telling people that the boys were finally sleeping through the night, but that was followed by two weeks of each boy waking up every night. I complain that my boys never seem to be able to nap at the same time, and yet here i am being able to blog because both are sound asleep in their crib. The solution i have reached is that i need to hand out a flier after each conversation that reads: "each and any statement made by Jessica is subject to change without warning. Listener side effects may result in confusion, feelings of distrust, concern or betrayal. Any repeated facts that become contradictory to true life will be metally marked at listeners expense.