I can't sleep...

I absolutely HATE that it takes me so long to fall asleep at night. I was tossing and turning last night and getting so frustrated that i was still awake. I just can't stop thinking about things that get me worried. For example: I was talking to so and so last year, and I'm sure that i said something stupid, and did I hurt their feelings, and what should I have done, and if I did that with everyone would my life be so much more complicated with all the extra effort and.... You get the picture. I have to stop myself and realize that I'm still awake and still thinking. I say to myself "Stop thinking! Stop thinking!" but that's just more thinking.

Then I remembered what Joe jokingly told me was the reason that he can fall asleep so easily. He said that Joseph Smith said something like being able to fall asleep is the result of a clean conscience. So i thought to myself that maybe if I righted all of the wrongs that run through my head all night long I'd be able to sleep. Obviously I don't want to name specifics because that would be impossible. I've done SO MANY stupid things in my life that I think my fingers would fall off if i tried to type them all. I'm hoping a public apology will do. Here goes:

To everyone that i prematurely judged: I'm sorry. I have no place to judge since i am far from being a model wife, mother, friend, or associate.

To everyone who I rubbed the wrong way: Please know that I'm nervous when i first meet people and I tend to either say something crazy or just sit in silence and hope that no one judges me.

To those at church who I seemingly ignore: I really do wish i could talk to you. I hate to blame my kids, but when I'm at church I get so flustered that i am basically in SURVIVE mode. I'd love to be in learn mode or socialize mode, but that really doesn't happen most of the time. I like you. I really do. I just give me two and a half more months when my kids are in nursery and then i can be calm and collected. I AM interested in getting to know you. Please have patience with me.

To those who've been offended by opinions that I've stated: I'm probably wrong. I change my mind all the time. I'm a little flaky. Unless you really like Samuel L Jackson. In that case i apologise for nothing. seriously, he is a terrible actor and anything that he touches turns to crap. Unbreakable? Shaft? Snakes on a Plane?! Really? how did that movie even get made? I will only admit that I like him as Frozone, but at least i didn't have to see his face.

To those whose feelings I hurt: I'm SO SORRY. If there is one thing I hate, it is to actually hurt someone. As much as I play off that I don't care about anything, I really do care about people's feelings. My mom used to tell me heart-wrenching stories when I was a little girl to make me sensitive to other people. It worked. Just know that I try to be a nice person.

I'll let you know if this cures my insomnia.

More pictures

more of the cowboy pictures
i love this one of Ethan

and crazy Noah with his messy face. He wanted to eat sticks all day.

This is when Ethan really started walking everywhere. He loved the softball field. Thats a good sign for us.

I wear my sunglesses at night, and in the bathtub.

I got these pictures back a few days ago, but I didn't post them because i've been having trouble deciding which ones were the cutest. They all looked so good. I think i've narrowed it down to my favorites, but i have like 12 and only room to post like 5 pics at once.

It was very difficult getting the boys to stay together long enough to take this pic

Noah! This is one of my favorites.

And this is my favorite of Ethan

This is my absolutely favorite family picture. Jessica Sorenson did a really great job.

My cute little boys.


I LOVE THIS!

The Simple Things

Today for me has been about appreciating the simple things. I've been watching the morning shows, Today, GMA and such. There was this amazing all over every channel about a woman auditioning for Brtitain's got Talent. Check out her video on youtube.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9z0h1NNk1Ik

I cried within three seconds of when she started singing. I was just in awe that something as simple as a song can bring so many people to tears.
I was also thinking about what a rotten mood i was in last night. Joe and i were talking about why i was so ornery and i just decided that going outside would make me feel better. So we put on some sweats, grabbed a blanket and pillow and layed on the grass outside. I don't know why, but all of my tensions just melted away. Simple.
The other simple thing that i love is making up new lyrics to famous songs. Today's song was a spoof on lady gaga's Poker Face. My rendition was called Booger Face, inspired by the twins of course. "Can't wipe my, can't wipe my, no he can't wipe my booger face..." you can imagine how the rest goes.
Things are good. My boys actually ate their eggs this morning instead of throwing it on the floor. I found a penny when i was taking out some stinky diapers. Ethan learned to give kisses today.
Simple. Good.

Easter

Well, its Easter! Probably the most important holiday when considering what it stands for, yet we never get to miss work or school for it. Oh well. For Easter this year I decided to surprise Jessica with some luxuries that I knew she would love but never really ask for. I figured with all of the plasma donating and with our tax return (2 kids in 2008, woo hoo) I would splurge just a little bit to do my part to "stimulate the economy"...(i love how the world tells us that if we spend more we will solve economy troubles. ) Anyway, first I searched the Internet to see what Broadway shows were going on this summer in Chicago since it is only a few hours away. I really wanted to take Jess to see Phantom or The Lion King. Neither were playing in Chicago so I broadened my horizons and found a great show in Minneapolis.

Then I knew that Jess has been wanting a new camera forever. The one we have is great for a quick picture here or there but just like most, it had horrible battery life and seemed to be taking worse pictures every day. So I did my research and found the best reviewed, easy to use, DSLR, lowest priced, smallest...etc. In the end, the winner in all those categories was the Nikon D40. It takes fantastic photos. I am amazed with it every time I take a picture. Jessica totally stood frozen when she opened the package and saw what it was. The sad thing is that I was so excited to give it to her that I couldn't even wait until Easter and had to give it a week ago.

Now, because I am selfish, I couldn't let Jess have all the fun so I bought myself a new softball bat. Its way nice and I got it for a steal. If anyone else is looking for a deal on a bat go to http://www.closeoutbats.com/.

This post could not be complete without a tid bit about the boys' Easter. We bought them a big ball from the giant cages in the Walmart isles. You know what I'm talking about. They also got some inflatable boats for the swimming pool. Jess was so excited to finally be able to take the boys swimming with the other moms. I'm positive that we will post some pictures of those in a couple of months when they are playing with them in the pool.

My Little Cowboys

Joe bought me a camera for easter that he knew I'd been eyeing for a very long time now. I decided to test it out a few days ago, and I LOVE the camera. I think the pictures turned out really well. Now i have to say, I'm not a photographer and I don't pretend to be. I just wanted more memorable picures for myself...Look at my cute babies:)

Date Night

Joe and I had a date night last Saturday. The Dental School was holding a celebration dinner for the fourth years. It was really nice to get dressed up and have a night together without the boys. We really wished that more of our friends could have come, but it was still a good night out. Special thanks to Tawnya and Angela for helping me put this whole thing together in one day! We felt a little prom-ish taking these ones. This is for you Mom.

The dinner was SOOO good. I had salmon and asparagus. Best dinner ever!
Joe preferred his prime rib and potatoes.

Me and Michaela on the dance floor. I did anything i could to not verify to the whole world that i dance like an uncoordinated white girl.

We didn't end up staying much past dinner or else i'd have to dance more, but it was still nice to get all dressed up and meet Joe's classmates.